Beauty and the Drunk Lumberjack

Once upon a time, there was a  Beauty.

She wasn’t a particularly smart Beauty,  but she had her looks to recommend her. Her biggest regret in life was that she had no one to catch her when she swooned.

She dreamed of her Prince Charming day in and day out, using her stuffed animals in place of the prince that never seemed to show up. It was not hard for her to imagine what a real Prince Charming would be like, though she’d never had one. She was only annoyed that her fellow actors weren’t very responsive. (For, of course, they were stuffed, and could not talk at all!)

And then one day, something miraculous happened.

She found someone to play the part of her Prince. His jaw  was not smooth, and his clothing was rather raggedy, and when she tried to give his cheek a kiss, he made a face.

But she did not care. He was dirty, bearded, and uncooperative, but he was her new Prince Charming.

She’d caught him, and she wasn’t going to let him get away. For a few minutes, she had a new playmate. She even got him to smile.

But then, things went a little awry.

She tried teaching him how a real Prince Charming acted, but instead, he drank.

And drank.

He took her rose, and it drank too.

But no matter.  Finally, he was cooperative.

He even tried to give her back her rose.

But she had given him second thoughts. She really didn’t want to set a bad example for her stuffed animals and have an alliance with him. After all, Beauty and the Drunk Lumberjack was not a very elegant title.

So she did away with him…

… and went back to her bunny.

And she decided a Prince Charming who didn’t talk back was much more satisfying, after all.