Fashion,  Health and Fitness

Body Image


Color Blocking | Everybody, Everywear

Well, hello there! I apologize for the lack of a Monday and Tuesday post; as I mentioned in my Friday Links post, we went camping last weekend and thus there were no outfit pictures for Monday, and then Monday was Mr. Owl and my 7-month anniversary, so we didn’t take any pictures on that day, either.

But yesterday I decided it was a good day to take pictures because I wore the above shorts, and since shorts aren’t the most flattering on me, I figured these are good pictures to talk about two subjects that tend to get a lot of reaction (not bad, just reactions) from people wherever you talk about them on the internet: confidence, and weight loss.

As I’ve mentioned earlier, I am trying to lose 15-20 pounds. A lot of my friends in real life as well as some of you blog readers immediately jump to defend my figure, saying I don’t need to lose weight and I look good the way I am. I get a lot of people that try to reassure me, argue with my decision, point out that I’m a woman and I should have curves, etc. And it’s lovely of everyone to say these things, but here’s the thing: I know I look fine the way I am.

I know I don’t look fat. I know I don’t look overweight. I am not consistently insecure about my weight or shape. On a day to day basis, I don’t look in the mirror and go “ugh, girl, you need to lose weight.” On a day-to-day basis, I usually look at myself and am pleased with what I see. I know how to dress the body that I have in a flattering way, and generally I’m pretty good at hiding the flaws and bringing out the positive things in my shape.

But just because I like me now doesn’t mean I don’t also know that there is room for improvement.  It has been my goal for a long time to reach a specific weight/measurement and jean-size, and I’m too stubborn to give up just yet.

Since I was about thirteen, I remember always being about 15 pounds heavier than most of my friends. As I got older, that number rose from 15 to 20 to 30, until I was somewhere around 17, I weighed 180lbs and was at least 50 pounds heavier than the other 17-year-old girls I knew. Thankfully, one day I just had enough and I lost 30 pounds, but since then I have fluctuated between 150 and 160 pounds, and I would like to put an end to that.

Right now, I weigh 162 pounds. I am 5’6-1/2″, my hips are 15 inches bigger than my waist, and despite what you all might think, I’ve got plenty of squish to go around. Occasionally, I have been told that (by an Asian man serving food) “Food is good for the baby” and I’ve been asked “is that the way the dress is, or are you going to have a baby?”

These comments make me giggle more than anything else, as I am not easily offended and I have always liked the belly pooch that I have. If you don’t believe I have a pooch, well, here it is: the most unflattering picture I’ve ever posted on the blog, but probably also the most honest one.

And yes, I was slouching which only made it worse, but still: this is my body, flaws and all. I’ve got belly squish, a bubble butt, thick thighs, and a comparatively small chest. But you know what? There are positives in all of that. I have a lot of curves. I have a very small waist compared to my hips. I once heard someone say I had really good legs for heels. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but y’know.

Most of all, I have a boyfriend who repeatedly reassures me that he likes me just the way I am, but that if I want to lose weight, he’ll support me in it. So long as I don’t get too skinny.

And I doubt that I will ever be (or want to be) skinnier than 140 pounds. In the world of bloggers, where the popular girls are all 5’7″ and 125 pounds, I’ll still be relatively curvy and definitely not a weight that most girls would be proud to admit. In fact, I remember reading once on a very popular blog how the blogger in question got somewhat defensive that, at 5’8″, she weighed 135lbs. I just wanted to say “Girl, at 5’8″, you should definitely not be ashamed to admit that, nor should you be skinnier.”

I don’t know when it became an unpopular thing to have curves, or why it seems that admitting you’re anything over 130 pounds, no matter if you’re 5’4″ or 5’10”, has become a thing to be ashamed of. I do understand the negative connotations when anyone who appears normal claims they’d like to lose weight, because so many women (and men, I suppose) become underweight due to the pressures of society. I have recently seen a few blogs that are focused on fat-acceptance to level out the amount of people who are anti-fat. I’m not sure if I could jump on board with total fat-acceptance, just as I can’t condone excessive weight loss, but I have to admit I understand where the fat-acceptance blogs are coming from and even if sometimes I think the arguments for accepting fat can go overboard, there are good messages there.

Love your body. Be confident in who you are. Your size shouldn’t control who you are. The people who are important will love you for the person you are from within… and if there is someone who constantly judges you for your size, maybe you should rethink that friendship. Sure, there will always be the negative groups, but they’re mean so you can ignore them. 😉

And I don’t know if saying all of that even makes sense knowing that I have the goal to lose weight. How can I say I’m confident in who I am now, but say that I need to improve?

Well… it’s a lot like saying I’m happy without chocolate… but chocolate would definitely add to my happiness.

 

{J.C. Penny} Shirt:  $6.08
{Romy} Camisole: $8
{Forever 21} Ring: $2.80
{Gift} Shorts (Target) | Earrings

So, that’s my two cents. The bottom line is: don’t be afraid to like who you are at the moment, but don’t rule out that you can always improve.

And also, be healthy. Cuz that’s important.

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