Friday Fitness: Why I Want To Lose Weight
So Jess at Animated Cardigan wrote an amazing post on why she doesn’t want to lose weight. I love that post. It is wonderful that she is confident in her size regardless of what the world thinks, and I personally think she’s absolutely beautiful. It was also a very honest post, which I really admired. It inspired me to write my own, on a complete opposite tangent.
Because I have a confession to make: I haven’t been entirely honest in the past. I may have put on a brave face, or not given full reasons for my health choices, or just plain been too afraid to offend someone, make someone feel bad for their own choices, or get discouraging comments. Weight loss is a touchy subject.
But here’s the thing: it’s not a bad thing to want to lose weight. It’s not a bad thing to love your body the way it is regardless of how much or little you weigh. It’s not a bad thing to be curvy. It’s not a bad thing to be skinny. It’s not a bad thing to want to want to change, nor is it a bad thing to want to stay the same. If you’re happy being you, good for you! If you want to change, go for it!
With that said, here are the top reasons why I want to lose twenty pounds:
One: Simply, I want to look good (or better) in clothes.
The very first reason… well, it’s probably completely and utterly vain. I could reorder the list to say it’s for health reasons, I could move that down under the next reason to make it seem less narcissistic, but we’re being honest here, and I’m really tired of my thighs making it impossible for me to wear a shift dress or a pencil skirt. I want to feel confident in a bathing suit without feeling like I should hide my jiggle in a pair of shorts or a swim-skirt. I want to wear shorts without the fabric riding up in the middle. I want to sweat in the summer without getting a heat rash because my thighs chafe. I want to pose sideways for a picture without worrying that my butt sticks out too far and my belly pooch makes me look pregnant (and please don’t protest that, you guys; I’m really good at masking my flaws with the right clothes and poses.).
Two: I want to weigh less than my husband.
Here’s the thing: my husband is naturally thin. He comes from a family of nine other people who are all pretty fit without having to do too much about it. Me, I come from a family of pudgy people, and we’re all really good at gaining weight without too much effort. So on a week-to-week basis right now, I weight about ten pounds more than my husband. And of course, as a woman, that’s kind of discouraging. But it’s also discouraging for him. Nothing reflected on me in any way, because my husband daily professes his love for my curves, but my weighing more than him makes him feel as though he’s too skinny. And I think in a guy’s mind, that translates as not manly enough, or something. I don’t know, I’m not a guy. Bottom line, it makes both of us feel bad for personal reasons.
Three: I don’t want to end up at 180+ pounds when I’m pregnant/a new mom.
We want to have kids eventually. Sooner rather than later. And I know that weight gain during pregnancy is completely normal, inevitable, and healthy. But I don’t want to go back to being 180lbs. It wasn’t a good feeling, and when I’m a new mom, getting very little sleep, and generally already probably having little time to make myself feel pretty, I don’t want to be stuck with a weight higher than the one I’m already sitting at and just feel like crap. Again, it’s a vain reason, but I think it’s a legitimate one.
Four: I want to run and not die.
This one has more to do with exercise than weight loss, and going to the gym to build up stamina. Currently, I can’t do more than three repetitions of 30 seconds of a leisurely jog- one minute of a brisk walk in a row without getting totally and completely winded. So winded that my chest feels like it’s being crushed and I get sideaches and the whole shebang. It’s not pretty. Now, my heart does beat faster than it should… and you know how this is fixed? You got it. Exercise. I’d like to be fit enough to jog for five or ten or twenty minutes and feel good. And not like death.
Five: to honor God with my choices.
This one is a reason I know many people will disagree with, or skip over entirely, and that’s okay with me. It’s my personal opinion, and I respect your right to your own beliefs. But for me, I have been more and more convicted that making unhealthy choices is… well, to be blunt… sinful. It’s lust over food I want, and greed to eat it without care, and sloth to make excuses for not moving healthfully, and gluttony to eat more than I need, and pride that I think it won’t affect me because… who knows, I’m special or something. I want to honor God with every choice I make, and that includes how I eat and how I treat my body. And hey, as a Christian this should probably be reason number one. But to keep up with honesty, this is where it falls right now. I’m a little ashamed of that, but I’m working on it.
Six: Because I want to reach my goals.
I have been trying to lose weight for at least two years, and I have yet to have enough perseverance to do it. I get lazy because it’s constant hard work. I get emotional because I want chocolate now. I get discouraged because it’s a slow process. I stop caring to keep myself from getting emotional and discouraged. But under it all, there’s still that stubbornness and that determination that one day, I am going to do it. I am going to reach my goal weight and I am going to maintain it. No more putting it off, no more getting distracted or wavering from my goals because the husband gets to eat cake and I don’t. I want to be able to say “I did it!” and triumph over my weaknesses.
I want to be strong. I want to be healthy. I want to be God-honoring. I want to feel good about my body. I want to conquer my goals.
I have already been half-writing somewhat biweekly chronicles or tidbits of how I’m doing weight or food wise, but from now on, to help me stick with it and see my own progress, I’ll be keeping an open diary of my week and posting it every Friday as a new feature (named, as you can see, Friday Fitness). Knowing that you guys know my goals and are expecting to hear how it’s going will help keep me accountable.
I feel as though I’ve been a broken record over the past, and I want to change that. I hate saying I’m going to do things and then failing.
Just so you know the stats: I currently weigh 164 pounds, with the measurements of: bust 36; waist 29; belly 37; hips 45; thigh circumference 27.
So, here’s to reaching goals, and also to stop being a broken record!
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15 Comments
Nancy Francis
Everybody has their reasons – its good you have such clear goals 🙂
Becky
Hi there – new reader here! I completely agree with your reason of honoring God – I’ve never seen it put that way, but it makes perfect sense. Especially the pride of thinking it won’t affect me! If it’s ok, I’m planning to print out that part and post it around for me to see. I don’t have too much to lose, just some toning in general. With a full time office job, I’ve been seeing and feeling the effects of a sedentary life for the first time and I want to nip it in the bud – especially as I’m hoping/planning to have kids soon-ish too! I really like your blog and outfits! Thanks!
Eccentric Owl
Hi Becky! Yes, feel free to print it out and post it wherever you can see it! I need to do the same thing. I’m so glad it inspired you and made sense to you as well!
Thank you!
Lariats and Lavender
YES YES YES YES!!! I love this. I love that you posted this. I’m also on a weight loss journey. I’ve little interest in dieting, instead, I want a healthy lifestyle with a diet of good food, and stuff I love. That may be fast food every now and then, candy when I want a little sugar, etc. But I’ll add even more healthy choices. I agree with pretty much every post you made, even the religious one. I’m Pagan, yet I completely understand. For me, being unhealthy doesn’t result in sin, instead, it’s just not following the Pagan rule of “harm none, do what ye will.” That equals, do not harm people, animals… yourself. So when I am being extremely unhealthy, when I feel unhealthy, I’m harming myself in a small way and going against the religion I hold precious. I just… I understand this post so much. Most people I know say it’s a-okay to be curvy (and it is) or overweight (and it is, to each their own.) Yet skinny people, and people losing weight, have kind of been knocked here and there which has bothered me for over a year. Than, you also have naturally skinny people (like your husband, and my mom.) My mom was constantly bashed for being “too skinny” and she ate a TON. I’d hate to see what the internet would say about her and her size, because she was incredibly healthy.
Bah, rambling.
Thank. you.
Eccentric Owl
I don’t mind rambling at all! 😉 And I think it’s great you understand the religious reasons even without being religious yourself. I think people tend to put taking care of themselves in a healthful way under “vain” or “not necessary”, but it is necessary. For health, for quality of life, for (in my case) faith… lots of reasons it’s a good thing!
And I also agree that naturally skinny people shouldn’t be bashed on! I know lots of naturally skinny people that are completely healthy, and want to gain weight but just can’t. 🙂
You’re welcome!
Mom
Just remember that weight loss is a constant battle and when you finally reach your goal you will have to work hard to keep at that size. I have lost weight in the past and when I finally reach that goal, I relax and sigh and start eating badly again and gain back all the weight I fought to get off back plus a little more very quickly. Plus you might want to get tested for the genetic defect I have to see if you need metholated vitamin B12 that might be why you can’t exercise for very long. Also, you know I am going to say this, you beautiful the way you are! Love you!
Eccentric Owl
Hehe, you WOULD say that! I love you too! I know weight loss is a battle always, even when you reach your goals; I hope to eat healthy for the rest of my life. And I do need to get tested for that defect…
mariecarolk
I love this post. It makes me really happy to see that there are people like you out there that feel the EXACT same way I do about losing weight. Seriously, so nice. Even down to the honoring Christ with my lifestyle (woo!!), but obviously not weighing more than my husband, since, uh. No hubbie for me hahah 🙂
I think the problem I come across is that people are either “love your body and never change, and if you want to lose weight than you obviously don’t love your body” (…which is crazy, because if I didn’t love my body, then why would I want to lose weight anyways, you know?) OR they are all “you need to lose weight because being overweight is so unhealthy blah blah blah!”Anyways, I think you’ve hit a nice middle path here with this post and it makes me really happy. I’m really excited about your journey, and you’ve really inspired me as well.
Btw, we weight the same and are hip measurement is the same too 😉 I showed your blog to my mom today and she was like, “Oh my gosh her skirt is so pretty and she is so beautiful! I don’t think she needs to lose weight at all!!” Also she thinks you make a great blonde hehe
Marie
J.K. Clark
I dig #5. If prayer is me speaking to God and meditation is a chance for Him to answer back, then my body is the temple in which He will meet me. I try to remind myself that I am responsible for keeping it in order. And as cheesy as it may sound, I recently started asking myself “Would I feed this to Jesus?” If the answer is no, I don’t eat it myself. (Seriously, imagine handing a bag of Cheetos to Jesus. It JUST. WOULDN’T. HAPPEN.)
Margaret
I love your mom’s comment, she reminds me of my mom! I come from a family who finds it nearly impossible to lose weight, and I know exactly what you mean about the broken record. I gained twenty pounds in the year after I graduated high school, and four years later I’m still trying to lose it. My issue is that I lack control, I either eat completely paleo, just fruits and veggies etc. and nothing remotely unhealthy, or I snap and eat a ton of cookie dough to dull my frustration. You can do it, I’ll be praying for strength and motivation for you!
Selective Potential
I loved reading through this, and you have many of the same reasons to lose weight as I do. Honestly, it’s all about confidence and comfort for me. While many girls can rock their figures no matter the size or measurements, I wish I had that ability! I just don’t! So I’m right there with you, girl! Here’s to hitting goals! xo
Megan Butcher
I just wanted to let you know that there is power in being fat. Like it feels kind of awesome to be like, “look world, I know most of you think skinny automatically means more healthy, but I’m smarter to know that bodies are diverse, not perfect, and that mine serves me well.” It’s totally cool if you just want to be more active than you are now or have been in the recent past. And I understand if you are uncomfortable with your little bit of jiggle. I’m with you, I feel it, too.
But really, this is a woman’s life. We gain weight, we lose it. We gain it back. Our bodies are naturally fattier than mens’. As far as Christianity, vanity is a sin too, sweet girl. We are impermanent beings. We all grow old. We all blemish and die. So…why worry so much about a few pounds? I just thought I should tell you that you are lovely and probably considered to be very healthy as you are now (surely you know that, just stating..), so if you don’t lose any, or as much you hoped, or gain it back in the future…remember that you are still beautiful and um…save your time & stress and don’t dwell on it too much.
This is as much a reminder to you as it is to myself 🙂
<3 Megan
http://kiddotv.blogspot.com
Eccentric Owl
Hi Megan! I agree, actually, that there is a certain empowerment in being curvy when the world tells you to be skinny, and I hope you know I was in no way saying it’s bad to be heavier. I think it’s hard to write posts like these because I can never fully articulate everything involved in my decisions. You know? Until someone points something out, I don’t realize that I might have come off one way or the other! As for worrying/vanity, I definitely don’t obsess over my weight on a daily (or weekly, or monthly) basis, and I’m really okay with being curvy. It’s this weird mix of being confident in my body now, but still wanting to improve, and that’s a hard one to explain. 😉 And I don’t just want to improve for myself; I want to improve for my husband (as said), my future kids (to raise healthy ones).
Thank you for the great reminder! I’m not annoyed at all. 🙂
Jess
Aww Kristina, I’m glad that my post influenced you to write your own! Whether your goal is to lose, gain, or maintain your weight and body shape, it’s really important to be honest with yourself and how you feel about your body.
I find it really interesting that although we have opposite points of view on this subject, we both have a version of the same thing listed: we want to be more physically fit. We might have different end goals–yours is running, mine is weight training–but we still want to do these things, even if they’re for completely different reasons. Which is curious, but pretty awesome, really. It goes to show that no matter how you feel, having a level of physical capability can be really rewarding 🙂
Rachel
Hello Kristina – just stumbled onto your blog and I am so excited…mostly at the amount of polka dots haha! This is a sweet post too.
Rachel