Today was one of those days where I would really have loved to stay in bed and play Banana Kong all day. I don’t mean to say pregnancy is a terrible thing; don’t get that wrong. I love being pregnant, if not so much for the symptoms then for the knowledge that I’m going to have a child. I love this baby belly that’s growing and growing by the hour (it seems!). I love finding new confidence in what I’m wearing, and wearing whatever I want because I can totally tell people “Hey, I’m pregnant, I can do what I want!”
I love this new sensation of a baby moving under my skin (I THINK I feel it, anyway!)
But pregnancy is hard. Today was hard. Mr. Owl and I have discussed possibly having me work until December since now I need a bunch of dental work (pregnancy sucks away your calcium) and we’re saving up to pay the midwife, and today… it overwhelmed me. I was in the work bathroom on my knees feeling like I’d throw up for the second time today, exhausted, and crying because sometimes I don’t feel like I can take it. I’m not strong enough to work and be pregnant. I don’t know how some women do it!
I feel like I don’t have grounds to complain, though, because I live an incredibly blessed life. I’m married to a loving, hardworking, heartthrob of a man who adores me (and this baby we’re having), I live in a lovely house with power and food (and a really comfy bed), I have parents, siblings, and in-laws who are amazing, my husband and I have money enough to pay bills and buy small trinkets on the side, and really… having to work for four more months shouldn’t seem that bad.
I’ll just have to keep remembering that it’s temporary. That God will provide, and maybe I won’t have to work as long as we think I will. Maybe my vintage shop will take off, or my photography venture. Maybe the blog will attract more sponsors who will help me stay home. Maybe I’ll find work I can do from our house. Who knows what will happen!
Today, though, as soon as this blog is done I won’t lie: I’m going to lay on the couch (or in bed) and play Banana Kong, because that game is addicting! (Sounds ridiculous, I know, but seriously: I love it. Must be grown from my love of Donkey Kong.)
(P.S. I find it totally weird that I don’t look pregnant at ALL in the above picture!) In other news, can you believe how long my hair is getting? I washed it last night, and this is what it looks like brushed, slept on wet, and not brushed in the morning. Generally if I air-dry it all the way it’s completely straight, but I dig the wavy thing sleeping on it does! I can’t wait until it’s waist-length. Then, I’ll get myself some pointy ears and a flowy dress, and pretend to be an elf. The view looking down: actually, I think the camera sees more than I do. My toes are quickly going to become rarely-seen friends. It’s getting harder to bend over. This belly of mine (hellooooo baby!) is expanding so fast now that I’m officially 4 months along! I love it!
Forever 21: Necklace
I hope you all have a beautiful Thursday!