Today, I quit my job.
I know that sounds crazy after I’ve admitted we’re pretty broke, but… we’ll live. We’ve been scraping by for two months on just my husband’s paycheck, so I know we can make it, even if it is tough. There are moms out there who work part time or full time, and I don’t know how they do it. It might sound really weak to admit that even working 4 hours a day wore me out, stressed me out, made me emotional and more prone to impatience with Asa… I just can’t be that woman. I can’t be a superwoman who has a steady job and takes care of a house and kids at the same time. It’s not a strength of mine.
And I knew it was time to call in and quit after I tried going back to work today and had no less than three breakdowns while trying to get Asa down for a nap so I could log in.
If work means I’ll be less of a mother and wife, then… I can’t work.
So, aside from continuing to cultivate my Etsy shop and perhaps grabbing a few sponsors here and there for the blog or doing photography sessions when people want me, I am officially no longer a working mother. We are solely living on what my husband makes, and it’s going to be tight, but less stressful.
I am thankful for my husband’s understanding this morning, when I told him that I just couldn’t work AND be a good wife and mother. His response was to quit work, if it’s what I needed to do. And here we are.
It should have felt like a big decision because this is the first time in years and in our marriage that I am officially done working bar we become absolutely destitute and I’m forced to work again. But really… I’ve not been working for two months already, so it’s just relief. Relief that the dread of having to go back to work is over; that I don’t have to figure out how to fit four hours of work into my day as well as try to be a good mother, a good wife, eat healthy, exercise, work on my Etsy shop, work with sponsors, blog consistently (and with good content), write, work on photography, and whatever else comes my way.
I no longer have to worry about whether I’ll be able to socialize with the people I love because I might still have a few hours of work I need to get in. I don’t have to stress over shopping day because going to get groceries cuts into the hours I could be working. I don’t have to get anxious when Asa refuses to take a nap because all I could think about was that the longer he napped, the less time I had to do what was required of me for my job. And it was a great job, don’t get me wrong. Working from home with flexible hours that can be done at any time during the day is really an amazing opportunity. But knowing I was required to do those hours and the pressure was on to get everything done in the day… it’s just not something I am cut out for,.
Perhaps it also felt unfair to me that I had to do two jobs — work a job and be a mother and a wife and a housekeeper. Not that I thought it was anyone’s fault, but… it did feel unfair that I had two jobs and my husband only had one. (I really want to emphasize that at no time did I feel like it was his fault. It was just life. Life happens, and neither of us can control some things.) So, thankfully, after the first and second breakdowns when I finally told him I just couldn’t do it, he understood. I am unbelievably blessed to have a husband willing to be the sole provider so that I can be at home where I want to be with my child, being the wife and mother I’ve always wanted to be. Sometimes it seems so incredibly lucky that I get all of this. In view of everything that’s happened today, and to take a step towards the things I’ve been putting on the back burner as I waited for work to start again, and in celebration of this new crazy chapter of life, because I’m sure it will be crazy, I’m offering all of my readers a chance to nab something from the shop at 15% off from now until December 31st.
Everything is eligible for the discount, and in the coming weeks I’ll be trying hard to list more of the things I’ve got waiting to be listed. The code for the discount is OWLREADER. So, see something you wanted? Now’s the time. These pictures are from a week or so ago, when I was taking inspiration from Marlen and basically came out looking more like the typical stereotype of a Washingtonian. Plaid, coffee, hipster hat. Y’know.
I convinced my husband to pose with me because he sort of looks like a Washingtonian, too, doesn’t he?
On me: shirt, skirt, belt, and brooch, Thrifted | tights, Target | hat, mom-made | shoes, Modcloth | coffee cup, gift
On him: sweatshirt, pants, and socks, Target | shirt, c/o Joules | boots, Kohl’s
I hope you all have a beautiful Friday and a fantastic weekend! I know I will.