• Baby and Parenthood,  Letters

    One Year Old

    Dear Asa, Today you are one year old. It’s hard to believe that a year ago today, you were just an itty bitty 8 pound baby, and now here you sit a solid 25. You can stand by yourself, you chat with me and daddy and grandma and pretty much everyone (or yourself, if nobody is around) and it’s very rare that you aren’t making some sort of noise while you’re awake. You just recently learned how to play peekaboo, after a week or so of my moving your hands for you, and now it has turned into a hilarious game of you smushing and slapping your own face to…

  • Letters,  Thoughts

    Is this hello, or goodbye?

    My dearest Baby Benton, I am writing you this morning and I don’t know whether you will ever live to read my letter. I was woken up just after 6:30am by your grandpa. You aren’t born yet. They can’t find your heartbeat. My love, I don’t know what to say. I am praying and begging God to leave you with us for a while, because we all love you so much. It’s going to be hard for us to live on if you go to heaven first. We’re all selfish here, and we want you to live with us for a few years before going to God. I have a…

  • Letters,  Love

    And when I stop to think, I find there’s more to be thankful for every year.

    I am thankful for the little things, and the big things. I  am thankful for my nieces. For my soon-to-be nephew. I am thankful for my family that lives far away. I am thankful for finally being able to  live at home, And for being able to cuddle with my animal after over three months of severe allergic reactions. I am thankful for the early, early snow. I am thankful for many, many, many blankets. Also, for the working furnace, the eradication of rats in the ductwork, and the pellet stove. And warm socks. I am thankful for my best friend. For our text messaging late at night, And random conversations…

  • Letters,  Love

    … And When I Reach Fifty, You May Find That I’m Really a Clinically Insane Five-Year-Old.

    Dear Future Man That I Finally Manage To Trap Marry, I was thinking the other day(actually… that was this morning) about just how incredibly gifted you will have to be to put up with me. Not that I’m a particularly difficult person to deal with… most days… but I’m  not exactly your run-of-the-mill, just-what-she-looks-like, normal girl. (I can’t even spell normal correctly on the first try. Really. It comes out “norlma.”) Just about two hours ago, I was thinking about you, and how you might find me to be very odd at first. (or always) You see, about two hours ago I was driving down the road talking to myself.…

  • Letters

    I’ll Call You Beautiful Bouncing Baby Boy Benton

    Dear Baby Benton, Today, I found out that you are a boy. And the only reason I didn’t scream and jump up and down  like a maniac is that I had just woken up and it hadn’t really hit me yet. But now I’m so excited that I could cry. (I cry a lot. You’ll get used to it.) I’ve been waiting for you for four years. Every time I heard that your  mommy was pregnant again, I hoped that she’d be having a boy. Don’t get me wrong, I love your sisters a lot, but I really wanted my oldest  brother to have a boy first. I have a…