• Thoughts,  Writing

    Free

    Dedicated to my second nephew, Benton, who was stillborn this morning, three days before his due date. And for my brother and his wife as they mourn for their fourth child and first son. Bliss. The most beautiful light he has ever seen, shining around him, filling him with warmth until there are no shadows. He floats into awareness and knows that he is before the most powerful being in the universe. He is unfettered by the weights of the world. He is enveloped by a love purer than any he would ever have known. He cannot remember how he came to be, nor where he had come from. Thoughts…

  • Letters,  Thoughts

    Is this hello, or goodbye?

    My dearest Baby Benton, I am writing you this morning and I don’t know whether you will ever live to read my letter. I was woken up just after 6:30am by your grandpa. You aren’t born yet. They can’t find your heartbeat. My love, I don’t know what to say. I am praying and begging God to leave you with us for a while, because we all love you so much. It’s going to be hard for us to live on if you go to heaven first. We’re all selfish here, and we want you to live with us for a few years before going to God. I have a…