Graphic cardigan and star-print tights

Graphic cardigan and star-print tights | www.eccentricowl.comGraphic cardigan and star-print tights | www.eccentricowl.com

The stars in her eyes
Reflect the grandiose dreams of
One who has seen it all, yet
Desperately hopes for more

Graphic cardigan and star-print tights | www.eccentricowl.com

Dreamer, is she
Creator of worlds beyond the seen
Harbinger of the doom or success
Of fictional creatures she hoards
In the depths of her mind’s palaces

Graphic cardigan and star-print tights | www.eccentricowl.comGraphic cardigan and star-print tights | www.eccentricowl.com

Dreamer,
Lost and found again
Rejecting the hard cold truth for
A prison of faeries’ making
Buried deep beneath the intoxication
Of voraciously consuming words

Graphic cardigan and star-print tights | www.eccentricowl.com Graphic cardigan and star-print tights | www.eccentricowl.com

Breathing in the scent of
Pages long since penned by
Authors whose bodies rot
And feed the needs of the earth’s fauna
And flora

Graphic cardigan and star-print tights | www.eccentricowl.comDress and tights, Target | cardigan and necklace, c/o Oasap | boots, Kohl’s

Eternity swirling and glowing in the
Hopeless depths
Of her eyes.
Dreamer, is she

Bone-raw fingertips pounding
At keys too real to express
The desperation of her mind.

Um… I didn’t know what to talk about today, so I wrote you a poem inspired by these star-and-moon print tights, which you have to admit are pretty awesome. I feel like a chameleon and/or a rockstar today, because this entire outfit is not my usual vintage or retro, and… lots of black.

Happy Monday!

(P.S. If you happen to get these tights, size up. These SAY they fit 5’5-5’11 and 140-190lbs, but… if these were meant to be waist-high, they only came to barely over my rear-end. With lots of stretching and struggling.)

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Thoughts on Marriage

Thoughts on Marriage | www.eccentricowl.comDressember DaysThoughts on Marriage | www.eccentricowl.com

Sometimes I feel as though because I’ve only been married for two years, or because I had  a great pregnancy and have a nearly-always-happy child, I am not qualified to give advice. Because I haven’t experienced hardships, I haven’t gone through a rough period, I didn’t have terrible pregnancy symptoms, my boobs didn’t suffer through nursing, my child sleeps fine and only has mild teething symptoms, and I’m still in what most people would qualify as the “honeymoon” stage of marriage.

But I read Kristen’s post this morning, and I thought… why can’t I share what I have learned? Just because it hasn’t been hard doesn’t mean I haven’t discovered things to make our marriage better and stronger. Just because Asa isn’t having a rough babyhood doesn’t mean I don’t still Google the heck out of things to figure out what to do sometimes. (I Google everything. I even asked Google whether it was normal that I didn’t like kissing back when we had our first kiss.)Thoughts on Marriage | www.eccentricowl.com In the last two years of marriage, I have learned a great deal. Through my own marriage, through watching others’ marriages, through advice and experience and observation. And, through my own failings. I am not a perfect person. I can be lazy and snide and unwilling to cooperate. And my husband… well, he’s one of those annoying (read: wonderful) people who only actually brings up legitimate issues, and he’s pretty much always right. And nice about it. SIGH.

In these last two years I have learned that quite literally, sometimes the key to a happy marriage is a clean kitchen. I am not a neat person by nature, but I’m learning. Because seriously, having a clean house is the difference in our marriage between happy and slightly discontent. It was a surprisingly simple revelation to me, having come from a house where neatness was not as large of a priority as other things.Thoughts on Marriage | www.eccentricowl.com I have learned that a major thing is respect. Which I knew, but I’ve learned how to respect. They always tell you that men need respect, but they never tell you what that means. And for a long while, I wondered: how do you show respect?

Respect means listening with your full attention. No checking your phone while he’s talking, interrupting mid-sentence with a thought, or spitting back your own reasons for why you’re doing something he doesn’t understand. Respect means that even if you have a perfectly legitimate excuse for why you didn’t clean anything today, you let him tell you why it bothers him and you take his advice to help you do better next time.

Let me tell you something: I HATE taking advice. I want to be perfect and I want to do it all by myself. But I can’t. And my initial response when he’s trying to help me fix the problem is to get defensive. I did that wrong because xyz happened so that’s why and don’t try to tell me I could actually get it all done if I took your advice, because I don’t want to. Even if, deep down, I know he’s right.

But the thing is, he’s not sitting there trying to attack me or even tell me that I failed. He’s trying to understand why. He’s trying to give me the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I didn’t clean house because Asa had a really bad day, and that’s okay. But maybe next time it would be easier to get things done if I asked for help, if I asked his mom or my mom to come over and give me a break, or to clean my dishes for me or get my laundry done while I deal with a cranky teething baby. Just because he’s pointed out something I’ve done that is less-than-admirable doesn’t mean he suddenly thinks I’m terrible.

Respect means acknowledging that he’s got a good point, that his advice is valid, and that he loves me even when he’s bringing up something I could improve on. And not crying, arguing, spouting excuses, or walking away from it with irritation.Thoughts on Marriage | www.eccentricowl.com I’ve learned over the last two years that just because he doesn’t crave physical affection like I do does not mean that he doesn’t find me attractive. Girls, you may be told in premarital counseling or growing up or by whomever that men always like sex more than women do. And I’m going to be really blunt and personal with you (sorry if it’s awkward mom and other family members who might be reading this), because I don’t want you to worry: sometimes, that isn’t the case. Sometimes, it’s the woman who likes the physical more. I am one of those people. My two biggest love languages are physical affection and words.

My husband’s are not. And obviously he does like the hanky spanky stuff too, but it’s not as important to him as it is to me, which I found really weird and worrying at first because my female premarital counselor told me that sometimes men just need sex and we should give it to them even if we aren’t really in the mood (which, by the way, is all about being selfless and looking out for your spouse’s needs, and it doesn’t mean he’s just gonna take it whenever he wants it no matter how you feel. Unless he’s a jerk). And you know what? Usually it’s the other way around in our relationship. For a while I obsessed with the fact that his hands weren’t all over me all the time and what was wrong with me and… it was kind of destructive. Not in big ways, but little, niggling ones. I lost some confidence in myself and in him and in us for a little while. It was stupid.

The lesson here? Learn what HIS love language is, and realize that he may be showing you he loves you in his own language, not yours. Learn to communicate love in ways he understands, and be honest enough to help him learn what your love language is. It’s pretty important that you both know how to communicate love in the way that your spouse is going to know it. (Communication is a HUGE key to a good marriage. HUGE.)

Thoughts on Marriage | www.eccentricowl.com Thoughts on Marriage | www.eccentricowl.com And I have learned that sometimes, compromising is not the key.

I am pretty sure my husband hates compromise. I remember one night when I had planned to make Mongolian beef for dinner, he suggested that sweet and sour beef might be good instead. Innocently, in the effort to make everyone happy, I offered to make him sweet and sour sauce and me Mongolian beef sauce, and everyone could have what they wanted. It didn’t make him happy, though; it just made him feel as though I didn’t care what he wanted because I was going to have what I wanted no matter what, and it made him feel like he was just making more work for me.

The thing is… most of the time compromise is a way that I can get what I want. Whether subconsciously or not, I do tend to try to find a way for us both to get what we want. It’s not sacrifice, submission, or selflessness at ALL. And sometimes, giving up what you want in favor of what your spouse wants is far better than trying to compromise so that everyone is happy. Sometimes, doing it together is more important. Thoughts on Marriage | www.eccentricowl.com

Heels, belt, brooch, and vintage dress, thrifted | cardigan and tights, Target | earrings c/o Oasap | scarf, self-made | glasses, c/o Firmoo

Those are only a few of the things I’ve been learning so far in my marriage. Respect, communication, love language, selflessness… they’re important.

What is the most important thing you have learned in marriage or your relationship so far? I’d love to know!

In other news, this is me winterizing a decidedly spring/summer dress. Well, I suppose it’s not really decidedly spring or summery, just mostly in color it’s more a spring/summer palette. But I think with lots of black additions to match the black rose pattern, it works quite well for winter! I still haven’t decided how I want to tailor the top of it (you can see the whole dress here) so for now, wearing a coat or cardigan over the top works to de-crazy it. Although we all know I have a weakness for slightly crazy clothes.

Anyway. I hope you all have a happy Wednesday!

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Twanoh State Park

Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.comTwanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.comTwanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com I apologize ahead of time because this is going to be a REALLY photo-heavy post. We took these pictures right before I re-dyed my hair, and I was too impatient (as always) to share them before I shared my new haircolor. I had nearly forgotten about them! But I was sick yesterday, and I’m lazy today, so here we are, finally.

I’ll try to keep it down with the pictures, but… a few weeks ago, we had this fall adventure in a gorgeous park, and I love so many of the pictures… so it’ll be hard. Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.comTwanoh State Park is really close to where we’re currently living, and we’ve driven past it quite a few times on our way to camping at other places, but this was the first time we’ve ever actually stopped. And man, did we stop at the right time! It’s so gorgeous there in the fall! The park was half closed off due to winter and some restoration they are doing, but we were still able to wander quite a large part of it and see the fall trees, the cute little buildings they have for campers in the summer, and a few really neat little bridges over a stream!Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.comTwanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com We were doing some research for the short film we’re currently ramping up to make, because my husband has envisioned having a bridge in the woods in one scene, but despite the beauty of this park and the prettiness of its bridge, he said it as a little too modern for what he has in mind. Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.comTwanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com It is seriously such a breathtaking place. I’m hoping that sometime next year when it’s warm, we can go camping there! The park starts at the water and comes up into a really nice area full of deciduous trees (and beautiful leaves!), where there are several stone buildings meant for people to use for parties (I think, there are sinks and fireplaces and tables in them), as well as a swing set, a tiny basketball court, and a few other little entertainment things.

It then crosses over a road and up into the woods, where you can camp. There is a path that leads beneath towering trees, beside a rushing stream, over a somewhat rickety bridge that shakes if you bounce on it, and into the camping area where the roots of the trees unearth themselves and rise up in a twisting fashion to create little houses for faeries and gnomes (or so I imagine.) It really is a beautiful place!Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com I really, really want to start taking more adventures like this; for one, it’s a lot of fun and it seems as though since we’ve had Asa we really haven’t gone many places. Also because it’s cold out and rains all the time, but… y’know.

But, and this might be a really weird reason, I also want to take more adventures like this because it creates much better backgrounds for outfit pictures. Is that weird? I think it’s much more interesting, and gives me something to write about, and the pictures are always so much more beautiful when my husband takes them. Not going to lie, I really love being a do-it-yourself blogger, but there are angles I just can’t get with a tripod. Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.comTwanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.comTwanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com And also it means I get to share my husband’s style as well. Let’s be honest: I think he’s pretty good looking, and I want to show him off more often.

This was also right before he shaved his mustache for Halloween, and I was sad about it. He gets a lot of flak for having a mustache — guys at work especially make fun of it, as do his sisters. But I like the ‘stache. It might be a hard thing to pull off on some guys, but I think he wears it well and it fits his personality.Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com Ah, this man. I love him.

Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.com One of my best friends gave me this… I don’t know what to call it, a vest? Anyway, her grandmother passed away a few months ago, and while they were going through her things, they found this vest, another cape/vest/coat thing, and a genuine fur coat, all from the sixties, that they didn’t have any emotional connection to. And she immediately thought of me!

I absolutely LOVE it, but I wasn’t quite sure how to style it. I think I want to also try styling it with jeans, or a little black dress. It’s actually quite warm; I think it’s wool, so it’s great for fall and winter! Plus, plaid. You know me and my weakness for plaid.Twanoh State Park | www.eccentricowl.comVest, vintage/gift | shirt, belt and skirt, thrifted | tights, Target | boots, JC Penney | ring, Hawaii

I hope you are all having a good week! What adventures have you had recently?

Also, you guys: in one month, Mr. Owl and I will have been married for TWO YEARS. And in two months, Asa will be ONE. OH. MY. GOODNESS.

Crazy.

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