Paleo Recipes: Essentials for Breakfast and Life

Today I want to share with you two recipes that are essential, in my opinion, to eating and cooking Paleo. First up is one of my absolute favorite things to eat for breakfast now. Not only is it delicious, but it combines three of my favorite foods — bacon, tomatoes, and avocado — and one food that I hated until I started eating clean — eggs.

So, funny story: this morning, I got so stressed out over a picture of an egg I wanted to irritated-pregnant-woman-hormonal-cry about it.

See, I have never been a very gifted egg flipper. In all my years of attempting to fry a good egg, they have always turned out scrambled, folded, ripped, broken, and just generally mangled into a mess. So a few days ago, I very proudly posted a picture on Facebook and shared the fact that I had finally mastered the art of flipping my eggs without breaking them. It was a monumental act for me, and finally I felt like I could be a real housewife.

Well, it turns out, nobody cared about this vast accomplishment, and instead people started commenting –mostly joking or teasing– that the egg is so brown, it doesn’t even look like an egg, why is it so brown, it looks like a melted crayon, it’s all yolk, Barefoot Contessa would not be impressed try again, if it’s so brown it’s not perfect then is it? And, being pregnant, hormonal, tired, and hurt of pride that nobody cared how awesome my newfound egg flipping skills were, I just wanted to shout “OH MY GOSH PEOPLE WHO CARES SOME EGGS JUST TURN BROWN WHEN THEY’RE COOKED!!!”

And this morning, after mulling and grumping about how unappreciated my skills were, I decided maybe I’d remove the picture, I got irritated enough to want to cry, and I decided that I wasn’t hungry enough to cook myself more eggs after all.

So fast forward, after I was able to whine to my good friend about it, I realized that yes, that egg did look weird, it didn’t matter what people on Facebook said because I know how cool I am(facetiousness here, guys), and I got hungry again. I went through the whole process of making myself my new favorite breakfast, sat down to write this blog post about how amazing this food was… and went in for one bite of food only to promptly upend the entire plate onto the carpet on the floor beside the couch, where all the hair and dirt really loves to hang out.

And it didn’t even faze me.

Moral of the story: you know you’re pregnant when joking comments on the picture of an egg stress you out to the point of a hissy fit, but upending your breakfast onto the floor is just another day in the life.

Second moral of the story: this is so easy and quick to make it’s not even an issue to make it again. This is what I eat for breakfast most days, because it is amazing, filling, and keeps me going for hours. Not to mention, there’s bacon and avocado. Who doesn’t love bacon and avocado?

This recipe was modified from Eggs Paleo. You should buy Make It Paleo. It’s an awesome cookbook.

Ingredients:

• Two eggs, fried
• 3-4 pieces of bacon, crisped and broken up
• One roma tomato, sliced
• 1/2 avocado
• 2ish tbsp lemon juice
• salt+pepper

Method: Arrange your tomato slices on a plate, and plop your fried eggs on top. Mash the avocado, some salt, and the lemon juice up in a cup, and then spread over the eggs. Salt and pepper to taste, then crumble the bacon pieces over the whole thing… or just plop those bacon slices on there and don’t bother with the whole crumbling thing. Eat with relish. Try not to lick your plate like a weirdo.

Side note: did you know that you can cook perfectly crisp bacon in the microwave? Yeah. Put your bacon on some paper towels on a plate, cover with another paper towel, and cook for between 2-5 minutes, checking every 30 seconds or so after 2 minutes to make sure they don’t burn. And voila! Perfect bacon without all the scary spitting that frying bacon does!

Secondly, I wanted to share one of the most useful Paleo recipes you will ever come across: Paleo Mayonnaise.

Now, you might be wondering why Mayo is so useful, but trust me: you can make veggie dip, mock Hollandaise sauce, salad dressings, top bunless hamburgers, dip your sweet potato fries in it, and… well, put it on pretty much anything to make the food even better than it already was.  You need to make this mayonnaise ASAP.

It’s really easy to make, really delicious, and you WILL be licking the spoon. Hop over here to see how it’s done! I generally make my mayo in a jar (as seen) with my immersion blender. It kills my hand sometimes,but yields the most beautiful, creamy, thick mayo ever, and you don’t have to attempt scraping every last bit out of the blender when you’re done.

Also, I use Dijon mustard instead of powdered. I like it better. But you MUST make sure you get extra light tasting and not just extra virgin olive oil, because the latter will have the worst bitter aftertaste and ruin the entire batch.

Oh, and while you’re at it, you need — and I mean that with all my heart — to buy Melissa’s cookbook, Well Fed, because Paleo eater or not, her recipes are some of the best recipes I have EVER tried. And you all need some Chocolate Chili in your life.

And just in case you need a little extra push:

By adding some paprika, chives, garlic salt, and dill, you can make the most delicious veggie dip ever. I might be addicted.

I hope you all have a wonderful Friday!

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Curious to know what Paleo is? Here, read this. Want to try the Paleo lifestyle yourself but need some help stocking the kitchen? Read this, too.