Baby and Parenthood

Dear New Moms: It’s Okay

Dear New Moms: It's okay. (A little letter about the frustrations of motherhood).

Your baby is screaming for no reason, you’re tired, you want a break (or to break something), and you’re doing your best to deal. But it’s not fun. And it’s okay.

It’s okay not to enjoy the bad days. It’s okay to wish for a different day, any day, to come and take over the crapload that is this day. It’s okay to cry about it. It’s okay to give in and feed the baby early even if it’s not on schedule. It’s okay to let them cry. It’s okay to hand them over to someone else and leave the room for some sanity. It’s okay to need some quiet. It’s okay to be frustrated. It’s okay to put them down when you think you should rock them. Or pick them up when they’re supposed to be sleeping. It’s okay to hate the sound of those screams.

You’re still a good mom.

Your baby still loves you. You do know what is best for your baby. You’re a good mom because you pick them up when they should be sleeping. Or feed them when they technically shouldn’t be hungry. You’re a good mom when you give them to someone else to calm down. Or when you keep them to yourself. You’re a good mom when you let them cry because they’re tired. Or when you don’t.You’re a good mom because you were made for this. No matter how it might feel. You know exactly what that baby needs; you, and not anyone else in the world (except for maybe their dad).

So quit judging yourself by the woman in the grocery store whose kids look like angels, the friend on Facebook whose children are always perfectly clean and grinning, the stranger on the internet who coos about how wonderful and easy it is to be a mom.

Babies cry. But you’re a good mom. Babies won’t sleep. But you’re competent. Babies fuss. But you can handle it.

Because you’re their mom. And you’re the best one they’ll ever have.


A new mom who is totally not always on top of things, no matter how sunny her life looks on the internet.Crying P.S. This is really for ALL moms. But especially new ones because sometimes you just don’t know.


  • Holly

    Awesome. I’ve been a mommy for 5 weeks and these are words I have reminded myself over and over!!

  • Jaclyn Kent

    I needed this today! My son isn’t feeling well, woke up all night, woke up for the day around 5:30, and had a rough morning!! I just repeated, “I don’t know what to do!” to my husband haha.

  • epopek

    All so true! It’s crazy how much garbage we absorb about how things are “supposed” to be when parenting an infant. The truth is, it’s super chaotic. And if you are the type who craves structure and predictability, you’re going to have a bad time. Your baby, on the other hand, doesn’t care. So give yourself a break!