Lavender Hair and Writing Again

I don’t update this blog as much as I want to, but I think the reason is that I’ve been trying to make it something that isn’t very ME. I’ve been obsessing over SEO and making everything perfect when really… this blog started as a way for me to process my thoughts. I think after ten years I’m going back to that. Just processing my thoughts and writing about life. No fancy fashion jargon (although I will still share photos because… I love doing that), no worrying about SEO being great. Just me.

I started writing again and it’s made me realize I haveĀ  SO many things going on. These days I’m wondering if I need to cut one of them out completely – there’s YouTube, where I love posting videos and it could become something great. There’s this blog, which is my baby as archaic as having a blog might be. And then, there’s writing. My lifetime love and long-term dream. On top of all of those creative endeavors is being a mother, and a wife, and keeping a house, and selling vintage.

And I have to cut one of them out.

edits-70 Dress, Vintage | earrings and necklace, Vintage | shoes, Modcloth | lipstick, Colourpop | Hair Color, Adore soft Lavender

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At this point in life, I’ve realized that it’s going to be selling vintage. I’ve been a vintage seller for nearly 8 years, with an Etsy shop that’s been in and out, and blog sales, and then Facebook sales. And I’ve loved it. But it has become the most chore-like thing I do, and the most problematic in so many ways. For one, we don’t have the space to store all the stuff I have to sell. For two, I don’t have the TIME. I have four kids who are still mostly reliant on me and a house that needs upkeeping. I can’t photograph things during the day, and by the time bedtime is here I’m too exhausted. I don’t want to be spending my weekends working… but that’s all the time I have right now.

And the more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t really find joy in reselling like I used to. It’s cluttering up our entire dining room area and seeping into our bedroom. It’s chaotic and messy and stressful. Running vintage sales used to be a fun and joyful thing to me… but I think it’s come to an end. So my long-term goal is to write, probably self-publish, get my books selling… and quit vintage sales.

That’s not to say I’m going to quit vintage immediately. We still need that income. But it does mean no more sourcing, no more buying lots, no more grabbing all the vintage I see at thrift stores.

edits-15Collage 2edits-87My short term goals are to slowly sell through what I already have – which is a LOT. I could likely have sales with new items in each sale for the next year and not get through everything. Especially given that my friend in Virginia has a ton of bins of things she’s picked for me as she thrifts and goes to estate sales.

My long term goals? Make writing a sustainable income. Pursue the thing I’ve always wanted to do, fearlessly. Stop procrastinating. Write the dang novel. Publish the thing. Quit being afraid of failing. Because in a way, not pursuing my lifetime dream… is already a failure.

edits-89Collage 3edits-97It feels like such a relief to have come to all of these realizations. That I don’t HAVE to be successful at everything. I don’t HAVE to keep doing something just because it’s what I’ve always done.

And with this blog, it’s a relief to realize… I don’t have to make it A Thing. I used to be so sad that I once had a fairly successful blog and it’s now barely viewed by anyone… but honestly? That doesn’t really matter. It’s going to remain my life journal, and if it becomes more popular, cool. If not, all of these archives and posts will be delightful to look through anyway, for myself.

So here’s to realizing what’s really important to pursue, and letting other things go.

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