These aren’t the pictures my husband usually takes, but he was at work and I knew we’d be busy when he got home, so I trudged the tripod out and did it myself. I bought this dress when I was pregnant on the off chance that it might fit me post-pregnancy, and then totally forgot about it until the other day when I was riffling through my costume box and found it!
I love the colors so much. And the waistline is a little bit funky, but adding a belt helps bring the focus to my natural waist instead of my hips, so it’s not a big nitpick. This afternoon we went to my grandma’s apartment to help clear it out and see if there was anything I wanted, and being there realizing I’d never be there again just… it was hard. It made me realize how real this is, that she’s gone, and that we won’t see her again on this earth. I have been doing pretty well the last few days, but I had a few breakdowns in the apartment and after we left.
But, I have a few plants and some jewelry and some pretty china to remember her by. And a ceramic garden squirrel, because she always fed the squirrels and stray cats at her apartments, even though management told her not to. One of the things I have been thinking about since my grandma had a stroke is the phrase “live with no regrets.” See, grandma called me on the Friday before she stroked, but I thought I was too busy to answer it. Of course, I regretted that once we got the news, and had been beating myself up for it until I realized… it’s not something I can change, ever. Regretting it won’t make it better.
So I think I would modify that saying. Don’t just live with no regrets, because that implies that you are living in a way that might cause you to be sorry for things later. But live so that you will HAVE no regrets. Call people back. Tell people you love them. Hang out with that friend you’ve been missing. Share Jesus with the person at work. Go on the trip you’ve been meaning to take, write the book you’ve been wanting to write, do the things you’ve always wanted to do but are just “too busy.”
There are so many things in life that we are too busy for, too shy to do, too insecure to try, too scared to share. Don’t let those opportunities pass by. Make time for people. Make time for God. Love loyally, have faith fearlessly, live intentionally.
Vintage dress, heels, and belt: thrifted | Oasap Sunglasses and necklace
This whole past week has been a hard one, but a good one. It’s been making me think about what I really want to do versus what I AM doing, and those two things are pretty different. I intend to get a lot more intentional with my day-to-day life, and more creative, and more giving.
Tomorrow is her funeral, and it’s going to be a hard day. But it’s okay. I have lots of stories and memories and pretty things to remember her by, and some day I will see her again.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!